2 happy sportzdating couples share their tips for how to write your
1st message!
Well its coming up to holiday season with lovey dovey couples everywhere
you look, both young, and old. So are you ready to jump on in?
Sportzdating has been busy talking with 2 happy couples who met through
Sportzdating to gather some tips on helping you write that first message
once someone has caught your eye.
Adelina met her man 2 years ago on Sportzdating and they've been having
a blast ever since, "It’s been very good at our camp…we’re
still living at the same place and doing lots of sporting activities together
including completing the recent Taupo cycle Challenge, said Adelina.
Adelina believes 2 things will always remain constantly true in her humble
opinion about finding true love, "First, if you’re lucky, you
will meet someone where things seem always “right and natural”
between you from the start. You will find then that everything else will
just fall into place (cheesy but very very true!)!"
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Secondly, in your quest for love, Adelina says you have a bit of
housework to do first, "identify, understand and accept (yes,
in this order) your strengths and weaknesses in who you are as a person,
and once you have achieved this, you will exude an aura of poise and
confidence and be at peace with yourself. And once you have achieved
this sense of being centered, you’ll be a very desirable partner.
More importantly, you will also be ready to have a long term relationship
as you will have a better understanding of what you want out of life
and your life partner!" said Adelina. |
Our second couple Cass and Neal have had a whirlwind romance from day
1, "To be honest Neal had me with his profile and photo and now 2
1/2 years down the track with a 16 month old gorgeous baby boy, I'm very
very pleased we didn't hesitate and just plunged straight in the deep
end."
So there was no dithering about with this couple, "do it now!!, said
Cass, "Don't hesitate, don't stop to think about it, JUST DO IT!!!!!
Be brave, and write that first message from your heart, and not your head.
It will be more honest and real this way. Neal messaged me first, and
I replied immediately, and probably because Neal and I were mad keen on
each other we replied straight back to any messages we got from each other,
so there was no yucky waiting around and wondering. We didn't fluff about
and muck around, and I think that was key."
Cass advises men to get cracking and snap up that gorgeous chickeeboo
before someone else does, and I guess you could turn it around and say
the same to women, "I think if there is a real attraction there and
it goes both ways, it will be so so easy for you. Before Neal, I met another
guy at a Sportzdating launch that I was attracted to, and we had agreed
to hook up for a coffee sometime, but Neal was super speedy, and got me
quick. So speed men, is essential. The message it gave to me was that
Neal wanted to grab me before some other guy snaffled me up - the greatest
compliment a man can give a lady. There were other men in my life I could
have hooked up with, but I was ready and they were still fluffing about,
so it was Neal who became my number one man," said Cass.
Hopefully now we have you sitting at your pc, not wanting to wait another
second before you get started, so here's a few tips on how to send a great
introductory message to help you give your very best first impression.
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Cass gets the ball rolling with some advice on the importance of
your first opening words, "First up, try an intriguing subject
line that catches his/her eye, which will entice him/her to open your
message. Women will tend to open emails if your style is more conversational
and personal. You could mention something unique about her profile.
I guess intrigue and keeping it personal works equally well for men.
Follow the subject line, with an inviting first sentence, where you
introduce yourself and establish a rapport. The first sentence is
the most important part in the body of your email," said Cass.
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"Keeping your writing style conversational and personal throughout
the body of the email, will help it feel relaxed and easy. A shot of humour
here and there in your email will keep it fun and light. Talk about what
caught your interest in his/her profile, and anything you particularly
liked. Imagine you are meeting for a coffee, and speak in your email in
the same way you would speak to him/her face to face - putting some heart
in to it. If this feels a bit fake, try and imagine you are emailing a
friend you really like, and use that same style," continues Cass.
You guys ....
Adelina has some straight up tips for guys about making it real, and
giving it the interest and effort required to get her wanting more, "To
guys (girls can be guilty of these as well but most often the culprits
are guys, sorry):
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a) It’s not always about numbers, get personal!
– Guys, we women are not stupid, we can spot from miles away
a ‘cut and paste’ generic message that you sent to 100
women on the site including us, especially when we talk to another
girlfriend and found we both received the same message from you!
b) Show Interest and Effort – Actually read
and consider the person’s profile and ask questions that show
you have read their profiles and you are interested to know more
about them. If you are not prepared to do this, then you’re
not seriously looking to find a meaningful long term relationship
because such high level of interest and effort is exactly what you’re
required to maintain throughout a relationship with a woman.
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c) Be Original – “Hi, how are you?”
and “I see you’re into cycling, me too..”..zzzzzzzzz.
Just as it is important to make good first impressions in person, it is
equally important to get it right the first time you write. I know it’s
not something everyone is good at, but humour and wit will get you immediate
attention. A good example of this (which also incorporates point (a) and
(b) above): You read this girl’s profile that says she’s just
started doing triathlon and one day hopes to do the Coast to Coast. Your
first message should be something like: “Pop Quiz: You’ve
trained hard for the upcoming Coast to Coast but you have also recently
been proposed to by the man of your dreams, and you’ve said yes.
You and your beloved set the date, all your family will be attending,
friends and relatives from overseas had booked flights and then you receive
notification that due to unforeseen circumstances, Coast to Coast date
has changed to your wedding date! What would you do??! If you answer is,
have the wedding just as you cross the finishing line of the race, then,
hi, my name is John. Would you be interested to get to know each other
better? ? “ A message like this will illustrate that you’ve
taken time and effort to read her profile and think about what you want
to write. Also shows you are witty and have a sense of humour.
d) Rule of Reply: If you receive a message from someone
interested in you, normally containing questions, don’t just reply
with the answers and leave it like that. Follow up your answer by asking
back questions. Otherwise you give the impression that you are either
not that interested or you are only happy to talk about yourself without
wanting to find out more about her. This is just basic art of conversation
but amazing seeing how many men failing to ask back a question and were
later shocked that women stop conversing with them," said Adelina.
Cass has found finishing your message with a Call To Action works wonders,
"Tell the person what you want him/her to do next, something like,
"I look forward to reading your answer to my question..." Remember
that confidence is the number one thing that attracts women, and Neal
says its the photo that does it for a man. Maybe you could include some
fun gorgeous photos in your message ladies. So always focus on your desired
outcome, and chances are you'll get it every time!! And for all you gentlemen
out there - don't forget to be a gentleman," reminds Cass.
Go girl ....
Adelina also has some fabulous advice for women;
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e) Don’t play mind games – Don’t
do the whole “I’ll make him wait 2 days before replying
as I don’t want to seem desperate etc…” I can assure
you, it is really a simple case of he’s either into you or he’s
not. If he’s into you, he would be delighted to get a quick
response from you. If he’s not that into you, you can play as
hard to get as you like, he won’t bite.
f) Remember the gender difference– They speak
Martian girls, so just because you’ve written him 4 pages long
of your life story but only received back a one page (which is very
reasonable for most guys) does not mean he’s uninterested or
rude. Sometimes it’s just the way men communicate, short, distinct
and to the point. So don’t over-react based on written communication
from men. They’re more visual communicators. |
g) Breaking the ice is never easy to do, if you are
nervous, trust me, so is he! I often find the best ice breakers are staying
on safe but fun topics, meaning avoid CUQs (clam up questions) that make
a guy defensive straight away, like “so why are you still single”
or “how do you feel about kids?” Instead, try using wit and
humour. Most people tend to relax when they can have a chuckle. So in
short, think charm and disarm! My personal one which snatched me my Mr
Right was in my description of my profile where I described myself as
“someone who likes being active outdoors but also loves relaxing
indoors. Yes, I know I’m an oxymoron, often you can drop the ‘oxy’
bit too!” My partner of 2.5 years said of all the profiles he saw,
mine made him laugh and he was immediately intrigued and he chose to write
to me, and the rest was history!
h) Less is More – Be intriguing, not annoying….because
men likes ‘figuring things out, finding solutions etc’, in
the early stages of communication and getting to know one another, offer
60% of information about yourself on a topic he’s asked you about,
and let him figure out the rest either by asking you more about it or
asking you out on a date to find out more! Silly example..remember that
tag line “This one time at band camp….” And then let
it end like that….he’ll be like “WHAT???!!” Of
course, you have to be truthful, don’t go making up stories just
to be exciting! It’s not so much about what information you deliver,
it is how you deliver it..so in giving that 60% of the story, make sure
it’s the interesting 60% that will intrigue him.
Neal wants to put in his 2 cents worth in his short succinct style,
by reminding you, "just to message the once, not 5 or 6 times. If
you don't hear back leave it for a good 3 months and then try again. Also,
proof read and spell check your message before sending."
Right then, let's get writing!! Give it your very best and that's what
you'll get. So all the very best to you in life and love.
Wow what a read - if you would like any clarification or have got some
questions .. click
here
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