Top 10 Turn Offs on a Date is to help us all give our dating etiquette a bit of a lick and a polish. There can often be a bit of a disconnect between what someone wants in a budding relationship and how they present themselves. As we can all agree that the first impression we create is a lasting one, and almost impossible to erase, its good to get it right first time, and every time after that as well, especially when it's a date with someone who you think could well be the partner of your dreams.

Turn offs for men

We'll start off with the top 10 turn offs for men - while it’s important to know how to light a man’s fire, it’s equally important to understand what kind of behavior can douse those flames. By being clear right from the start, we can be better prepared to keep the spark alive from our first encounter to happily ever after.

Turn-off number one in the guy polls is flakiness: when a woman either can’t commit to plans or constantly flakes on plans. If you regularly pencil in your plans with a “maybe” and/or cancel plans at the last minute, you’re giving your guy the impression that he’s temporary in your life, until someone better comes along. If he's not the one for you, then be honest with yourself and him right from the start and just don't even go there. It will save a lot of heart ache in the long run.

Poor Communication is another little beastie that can getcha: Just as you deserve to be with someone who’s comfortable communicating his wants, needs, and desires, you, too, need to be a healthy communicator. Don’t say one thing if you really mean another. Instead, get in the habit of saying what you mean. Guys appreciate that!

Not Playing Fair: Remember that guys pay attention to whether or not you're playing fair. If you always expect the guy to come to your side of town, pick you up, open your door, pay the cheque, drop you off, call you the next day, without you so much as lifting a finger, you’re not dating fairly. There is also not fighting fairly when you throw things in his face, hold grudges, and insist on winning every argument. These days chivalry goes both ways and the dating game requires plenty of give-and-take. If you can date fairly, guys will dig you so much more!

Trying to Change Him: Just as you want the guy in your life to accept you hook, line, and sinker, he too wants you to accept him for who he is. And if you can’t? Don’t date him. Rather than trying to change the wrong guy into Mr. Right, why not keep looking until you find Mr Right, who may be far from perfect but whose imperfections you have no desire to change? A hint here is to write down exactly what you want in a man, and this increases your chances of attracting him to you by about 1 gazzillion times. You can totally turn this around and apply this same piece of advice to men about not trying to change a woman.

Nothing turns a man off more than a woman who gives him an ultimatum. It’s when communication breaks down, when one person feels his or her needs aren’t being met, or when the relationship isn’t going in the direction one had hoped or at the speed one had anticipated, that ultimatums are usually issued. In a happy and healthy relationship where you are regularly communicating your needs to the person you’re in a relationship with, ultimatums aren't necessary.

Being High Maintenance: If a guy goes out of his way to take you to a really nice restaurant and you're not happy because you didn't get a table by the window, this makes the guy feel that nothing is ever good enough for you, and he'll quit trying to impress. A simple thank you for a nice dinner is a better way to go.

Being a chatterbox or a clam shell. The conversation doesn't have to be 50% talking and 50% listening, but try to keep things balanced. You don't want to be talking so much that the guy can't get a word in, and you also don't want to clam up so the guy has to do all the work. Use humour and stories to keep your conversation flowing in a light and relaxed way.

Looking for someone to make you feel better is a turn off for both men and women. If you are lonely, bitter, wounded, or otherwise emotionally unhealthy, its time to get to work and start addressing your emotional needs. Bin your baggage and be able to take good care of yourself and know what makes you happy, before starting out on your next relationship.

Again for both men and women equally, making the effort to look good, smell good, and create a lasting first impression is paramount. Leave the un-kempt look to the A-list celebrities. First-daters need to pay attention to shaving, clothing and bad breath. If the guy or lady can't even put in the effort for a first impression, its not going to bode well down the road.

Something else that applies equally to both genders is being distracted from your date. If your cell phone is ringing constantly, you're popping away from the table every 10 minutes, and you keep interrupting the conversation flow, these things are all no no's. First dates require focused attention -- that means putting the phone on vibrate, making eye contact and being present.

Turn offs for women

Ok, let's give the women a break now, and enlighten the men amongst us on some of the turn offs for women. First up on the turn offs list is being too showy: A yacht off the coast of France is all very nice, but probably best left to later on down the track rather than divulging it on the first date.

Seeing your date treat the service staff with a lack of respect. The last thing anyone wants is to be talked down to or disrespected, and if she sees you do this to service staff, she is likely to assume that you will do the same to her someday.

Jumping too quickly to any form of intimacy can make any guy seem too aggressive. Guys need to read the signals before assuming hand holding, massaging and other touchy-feely activities have the green light.

A nervous, jittery guy is a real turnoff. Try and leave your jitters at the door, and come in cool, calm and collected, so you can give your date your full and focussed attention. If you can't make and hold eye contact, and keep banging that fork on the table, your date will think you have something to hide. Giving her your full attention will make her feel special and take your mind off yourself and any nagging self doubts that may be niggling at you.

And last but most certainly not least, there will always be the debate about who should pay on a first date. Some guys are traditionalists and want to foot the bill, while others expect a 50-50 monetary split. In most cases, offering to pay is the way to go for a guy. Let her pick up the tab on a future date.

So now we know what turns our better halves off, let's get our there and start turning them on!!!!! All the best in life and love.