After some fresh ideas on breaking the ice along with some communication tips to help make your sportzdating go smoothly then read on!

Get the pre-event training right.

The all important thing in starting anything off is getting the foundations right. Skyscrapers need different foundations to doghouses, and even a dog house can fall over if the approach is 'just let it happen ...'. And a good relationship is an event. You need stamina, endurance, strength. peak fitness and cardio. Not only on the physical level but more on the emotional and mental levels. Most of you will be knowledgeable about sports, and know that sports involve a lot of training and focus. It's interesting that there's a decline in the endurance (lasting) of relationships world wide.

If you enter into any event then the main things are training and approach.

Get Trained !

Notice that you trained for your job, you trained for the events you are successful in. How would those events go without training? Probably you wouldn't last the event. How much training have you had in building relationships? Read on -- this is the start !

Breaking the Ice and getting started

The main focus of this brief is pre-race and the starting line. Here's what people attribute successful relationships to:
Create a culture. Make your early contact in a way which gives those involved the room to put on the brakes without anyone getting offended or feeling rejected. When well trained business people want to 'suss out' a potential relationship they don't pull out the contract on the first meeting. They 'catch up with a coffee...' and learn something about what's possible through first hand experience

Play cards

To break the ice and get the conversation flowing without seeming intrusive, treat your interaction like a games of cards. Just put your card (opening discussion point) out there and develop the connection through it.
'Let's get married ....' doesn't always work on the first date. Here's how a card playing dialog might work for setting up a movie date.
He: 'My mates were saying that "Analyse this" is a really good movie. (watch her reaction)
She: 'What's it about? (Cultivating the initiative, inviting more information, showing interest)
He; "Apparently it's about this psychologist and it's really funny" (Building)
She: "I like funny movies. I've also got a friend who's a psychologist"

Notice that no-one is pressured into any kind of commitment but they're finding out about each other

He: 'Might go and see it this week sometime .. ' Watching for reaction again
She: ' Yes I might try and find out if it's on near me'
He: 'Do you get much time off in the evenings?'
She: 'Just a couple of nights this week...'
He: 'Why don't you take a look at your diary tonight and if your free then join me for the movie'
This example is a bit long winded but get the idea? Everyone has room to move, room to stand back a bit if they feel they need to, without offending anyone. It leaves the relationship open for another engagement.

The dialogue may seem like beating around the bush, but at no stage are they pressured into a decision, plus each party can gauge each others reaction and change or continue the subject of conversation if comfortable.

Other dialog to spark conversation about a further meeting or date may be:
HE: “So you are from Kumeu, I’ve ridden some great MTB tracks at Woodhill and also the beach is so close”.

(Notice two cards are played, MTBing in Woodhill and the beach. Your date may not be a fitness fanatic like you, so the she may pick up on great memories from the beach).

SHE: “My MTB is a bit old and rusty, but the beach is a great place for horse riding and barbeques.

(The rusty MTB statement could be a close down, or maybe it is rusty and you could hire one, also there is the option to continue the conversation along the horse rides and barbeques to secure a future date.)

Create Safety

Often the good things in life expose you to risk. A well managed online dating system can manage a lot of such risk especially when meeting new friends and help you make the best of your connections.

With relationships the risk is around getting hurt in some way. It's important to minimise this in the beginning by creating opportunities for a safe encounter.

Here are some tips:

• Do your pre-event groundwork as much as possible using non physical means -- use email and chat systems until you are sure you would like to explore the relationship further.
• When exploring any relationships with new people then suggest a public place and keep the appointment short,
• Watch for creeping elegance -- meet for the purpose you set the appointment for. If you want to explore further then make another appointment. Show that you stick to your agreement – it will pay off in the long run
• Stephen Covey, a personal trainer remarked once that 'good is the enemy of best'. Be careful not to sign off for less than you are really happy with.
• In choosing how you develop your relationships, make sure that trust is properly established by the people demonstrating that they are trustworthy. Don't make assumptions!
• In giving feedback, make sure it is fair and well placed. In return you'll find that others will be fair in their comments about you.

What's next!

There's lots to know if you really want your relationships to be deep and lasting. If you find this article helpful, let us know and we'll publish more