Sportzdating, for me, was a smash hit - I met up with a nice, active young lady who is into a lot of what I do, and vice-versa, we have a lot in common, and now (after a wee rocky patch) things are going extremely well - to the point where we’ve discussed house, marriage, kids, “the whole catastrophe”, and are getting serious about making them happen. So, how did this happen, and how could it work for you?

Dating websites have lost their stigma - I was doubtful about Sportzdating for a long time until a couple of good friends confessed they’d used dating websites, so I figured Sportzdating was the easy way of filtering out the sort of women I simply wasn’t interested in - the non-sporting types. Almost by definition the people registered on Sportzdating are going to be active and out there. After that I could refine the search a bit more (within 100km is a good start - certainly makes meeting a lot easier).

The fundamental requirement on any dating website is honesty. If you actually plan to meet up with someone then they’re going to find out the truth sooner or later, so you might as well make it plain right from the start. (If you don’t plan to meet up with anyone then don’t register - you’re wasting everyone’s time). Deceit early in the piece really doesn’t augur well for an open relationship. For example, if you’re in a relationship and casting around in the hope you might find someone better, you are probably better off ending the relationship first - you’re not being terribly honest with yourself in that situation. My Beloved’s comment was that there were a lot of guys just looking for a casual relationship irrespective of what they said on their profile. She picked that up on the first bike ride or coffee, and really it was just a big waste of her time and their energy.

Put a photograph or three on your profile - I didn’t spend much time checking out any profiles that didn’t have photos, I always got the feeling they had something to hide. Maybe they were people in relationships and didn’t want their partners to find out - in which case I definitely wasn’t interested. Photos also help get a picture (if you pardon the pun) of what you’re really into - my photos included kayaking, and when I saw my Beloved with a surfski in her photos my interest really picked up.

Give a reasonable description of your activities, thoughts, what you really think constitutes your ideal day, and so on - you need to build a picture of yourself for your ideal partner - so they can pick up on it, or decide that you really aren’t compatible (which could save a lot of time and anguish). The ones who didn’t give a description I wrote off immediately - if they couldn’t lay out a description of what they did, or were like, or liked, or disliked, I couldn’t imagine them being able to sustain a conversation (maybe that’s just me, maybe some people are happy with that).

The whole process is a transition from training buddy, to companion, to close friend, to lover, to full partner. It’s easy to start off as training buddies and let the relationship progress as you find out more about one another - and that’s the joy of Sportzdating - you already know they’re active, outdoorsy people. If you’re not truly compatible then the relationship can carry on at a lower level - you can still meet up for some wild mountainbike rides, or a coffee to plan the next Zambezi trip, or a weekly run around the block, or whatever - and it takes the pressure off both of you if you don’t go in with expectations of wild sex on the first date. The other bonus is that usually your new-found training buddy has other friends they do stuff with; you get introduced to them and thereby deepen the pool of potential soul-mates.

The key thing is to commit to the process - if you’re genuinely keen to meet up with people then give them some clues on Sportzdating, fill out the descriptions, write stuff about yourself, see who else fits the bill, then get in touch! If someone seems of interest then send them a flirt! It’s a great buzz to receive one (even though most of them seem to be a bit intimate for a first contact). Obviously someone has to start the process, otherwise not much is going to happen, so it might as well be you. There’s no point in trying to play funny psychological games with ‘who goes first’, nothing happens that way. On the other hand, if you receive a contact and you’re not interested, send a polite ‘thanks, but no thanks’ message.

If you pick up enough clues from their profile then suggest doing something you have in common, or at the very least meet up for a coffee to find out what you have in common and make arrangements from there. A couple of wee tips for the first date - pick somewhere reasonably public - a night run through the forest might seem a bit creepy to some people. And the first date isn’t the best opportunity to prove that you’re a grade 6 paddler (unless your prospective training buddy really wants to do the Huka Falls, too), so tailor your activity to suit both of you. On our first date, Beloved told me stories about winning world championships, then I punched out through the surf on the ski, expecting her to be right behind, then she thrashed me on a barefoot run down the beach, so we’d frightened the hell out of one another right at the start.

The dating game really is a random process - you go through life bumping into prospective partners almost by chance, but Sportzdating cuts out a lot of that by introducing you to people that start out with common interests, which makes the whole process so much smarter, faster, and enjoyable. So what are you waiting for? Launch into it. Make the most of it. Present yourself honestly and get in touch with people. At the very least you’ll find more people to get out and do things with in our great playground.